Because whining about it makes it all better.

I have a somewhat thoughtful post on Ted Haggard and meth-fueled trysts coming sometime soon, but before I write that, you'll have to excuse me, 'cause I've got some complaining to do.

The last five months have been some of the worst in recent Wisconsin sports history. It's one thing when your teams are just plain horrible, so you can quit caring about them. It's quite another when they tease you in every single game by losing at the last second. And I can't remember another year when that's happened to my teams as much as this one.

The Packers were the worst offenders, with an epically heartbreaking season. They had nine games that went down to the final two minutes or overtime, and they lost eight of them, including a streak of four straight games in which they blew a late fourth-quarter lead. They had an eight-game stretch this season in which they were outscored by just six points total, but somehow ended up with a record of 1-7. The NFL stat gurus Football Outsiders did an analysis just before the last week of the season showing that the Packers were the unluckiest NFL team in the last 27 years. I've never followed a season like that, where every time your team got a lead, you were so resigned to the fact that they'd eventually lose it--and they proved you right every single time. It's just not fun to have your pessimism backed up so consistently.

(Badger football, of course, was awful, too, though not quite in as gut-wrenching fashion as the Packers. They lost six times, with three of those losses coming on last-minute scores. But they also won three close ones, too. All in all, they weren't an unlucky team--just a horrible one.)

Then came winter, and with it, Badger basketball. This was supposed to be a down year for the Badgers, but nowhere near this painful. Back while football season was going on and no one was paying attention, they split a couple of close games, winning by a basket against two teams (Iona and Idaho State) that shouldn't have been able to hang with them and losing two tight ones against top teams (Marquette and Texas). Then came the conference season, and specifically the last four games. The Badgers lost two straight in overtime, then two more in the last minute to bring their losing streak to five, their longest in more than a decade. This quite thoughtful Badger fan's response after the most recent of those losses sums up my thoughts on Tuesday perfectly.

Oh, and Nebraska basketball? They've led big-time programs throughout most of their last three games, only to fall short in the final two minutes. Tom Osborne had to give them a pep talk this week to tell them, basically, that things can't possibly get any worse.

But enough of my whining. At least we still have Husker football, right? Those lucky dogs.

The guys on TV don't hate your team. Get over it.

We've just completed college football's bowl season, the time of the year when Americans engage in two time-honored traditions: 1) watching mostly meaningless bowl games and 2) whining about how We've just completed college football's bowl season, the time of the year when Americans engage in two time-honored traditions: 1) watching mostly meaningless bowl games and 2) whining about how much the media hates our favorite team/conference.

I've heard more of it this year than any other I can remember. It's the vicious circle of the victim complex: Big 12 fans complain about the media pushing the SEC's "speed" agenda, while the SEC kvetches about having some combination of schools in Texas and Oklahoma being foisted on them by ESPN every Saturday night. Meanwhile, USC picks up its annual grievance about being left out of the national championship game by the media who forget the Pac-10 exists, while the rest of the country complains about how the media is once again calling a USC team who's played exactly no one since September the best team in the country. And the Big Ten realizes (rightly) that everyone hates them right now, and that certainly doesn't stop everyone else from whining that "biased" ESPN keeps pushing mediocre Big Ten football on them.*

*I think much of this collective pity party stems from our culture's obsession with victimhood in general, but that's a sociological discussion, not a sports one.

The problem is, pretty much all of it is complete crap. First of all, the national sports media (and by this I mostly mean ESPN) can't possibly hate everyone. (Well, I suppose that's possible, but I'm not that cynical...yet.) More importantly, that media has no deep-seated love or hatred for any of those conferences or teams within them. They're biased toward one thing: money. They're in favor of anything insofar as it can bring in more viewers, clicks or advertisers. That means their coverage will be heavy on teams that more people care about. That's most obvious in baseball, where the disparity in size of fan bases is greatest, and much less of an issue in the NFL, where so much of the fan interest is spread league-wide (you can thank fantasy football for at least part of that).

But as regional as college football is, it doesn't make any business sense for ESPN to hold any systemic grudge against any conference, thereby alienating an entire section of the country.* And ESPN controls enough of the sports universe that it has a tentacle--and therefore a business interest--in every corner of the sport.

*Of course, it makes complete business sense for them to favor major conferences over minor ones, so if your favorite team is in a non-BCS conference, then, um, disregard this post's title.

As for the individual announcers/analysts/reporters, I can tell you as a journalist (though many of them are far from journalists) that their only real bias is in favor of good stories. For them, covering games is like when I cover a meeting: I really don't care which side wins; I just want the end product to make for a compelling story. And I'd imagine that the feeling is even greater when your audience has to watch the thing with you. So when Thom Brennaman made his rather ridiculous ode to Tim Tebow on Thursday, it didn't mean he or Fox is in the tank for Florida and the SEC; it just meant he's in love with the story of Tim Tebow.

A final note: Just because an announcer says something negative about your team, it doesn't mean he hates them. (Exception: Billy Packer and mid-majors.) Think about it: You make negative comments about your team or the people on it all the time, and you're a fan of them. So, for the last time, the fact that Kirk Herbstreit said this once does not mean in any way, shape or form that he hates Nebraska. It just means that, like any sane college football fan, he doesn't believe Nebraska has both of the top two teams of all time. Say it with me: There's no cheering in the press box.

Yes, that's right. A year-end list.

You thought I'd let a year's end go by without a list? No way, man. Well, yeah, I guess I did, since it's January 8 and all. Consider this my one-week-late, end-of-the-year (and-as-many-hyphens-as-possible) list of the top five sports events I saw this year.

5. NCAA basketball: Kansas State 80, USC 67.
This game really can't match the drama of the others on this list, but it gets a big boost because it's the only one here that I actually watched in person. Actually, Dana and I watched only the second half after being scalped for tickets, but that was plenty. Beasley vs. Mayo may have been the biggest freshman/freshman matchup in NCAA history, and they (mostly) lived up to it. Beasley was an absolute beast throughout the second half, and Mayo, well, shot a lot. Bonus: we sat with the K-State fans, so we were happy by osmosis.

4. NCAA basketball: Davidson 74, Georgetown 70.
I could have picked any of Davidson's games from this year's tournament for this one--though, let's be honest, I wasn't going to pick Davidson-Wisconsin--but this one really was Stephen Curry's coming-out party, when we all learned how to pronounce his name (rhymes with, um, effin'). Just based on his wispy, almost-fragile-looking body alone, he was possibly the most unlikely athlete I've ever seen dominate a game.

3. NCAA football: Texas Tech 39, Texas 33.
I watched this game all sped-up on Ben Reis' DVR, switching back and forth with the Wisconsin-Penn State game (possibly the best way to watch college football--two full games in three hours). By the time we got to the last two drives, we had given up on the UW game and were focused solely on Texas-Texas Tech. I remember feeling very confident that Tech would win with a field goal as they crept into Texas territory, but it's been a long time since I was as blown away while watching a play as Crabtree's touchdown. This is the first play that comes to mind, and that was a loooong time ago.

2. NFL football: Giants 17, Patriots 14.
One of the biggest upsets of all time. And it couldn't have been perpetrated on a better (and by that I mean worse) team. This just never gets old.

1. NCAA volleyball: Penn State 3, Nebraska 2.
If you're not from Nebraska, I know what you're thinking. "Seriously? Volleyball? What has Dana done to you?!?" If you are from the Cornhusker State, you know exactly why this match is here: When it comes to grit, will to win, gutsiness, teamwork, competitive fire, David vs. Goliath, all those wonderful cliches, I don't think I've ever seen a sporting event that tops this one. The Huskers were down 2-0 to a team that hadn't dropped a set all season. They then stormed back to take not one, but two sets in front of an insane crowd--the largest crowd ever to watch an indoor volleyball match in this country. Finally, the greatest college team in the history of the sport finished off the match and showed why they deserved that title. Couple that with the Huskers' incredible three-set comeback win the previous weekend at Washington, and I have to ask: Could you make a better case for No. 1? Could anyone?

Nebraska-VT tidbits

As promised, thoughts from the Nebraska-Virginia Tech game:

--There really is nothing in sports (that I've seen, anyway) like the atmosphere at a big-time college football game. The sheer volume of noise, the band, the student section, the red, everything. I've never been to an NFL game, but they all look so sterile in comparison. (Except for games at Lambeau, of course--I've heard that's the closest place to a college environment in an NFL stadium.)

--We sat on the floor, about 10 or 12 feet behind the Virginia Tech bench, with the other Red Cross Day volunteers. Let me just say I was not impressed with the Virginia Tech defensive players. During Tech's nail-in-the-coffin drive on offense (the one with the three personal-foul penalties), they were standing on the bench and would turn around to the crowd and pose or yell at us. There were state troopers standing between us and them to make sure we didn't taunt them or otherwise interfere with them. That job becomes a little bit tougher when the players you're protecting are the ones initiating the taunting.

--Nate Swift's punt return in the fourth quarter--wow. I had to watch it on Huskervision (we couldn't see over the VT sideline), but that was still the coolest play I've ever seen live.

--Before the game, Erin Andrews set up shop a few feet away from us. She's ESPN's top sideline reporter and the hottie du jour in the sports Internet world. (I would tell you to Google her, but you will feel violated if you do. And for the record, she seems pretty cool--takes her job seriously, hasn't posed for Playboy or anything--though Dana and I agreed her pants at the game were almost comically too tight.) At first I was annoyed because bunches of guys my age and pervy middle-aged guys were crowding around her (which also meant crowding around us) with their camera phones at the ready. But she spent the whole game on the actual sidelines, so that turned out not to be a problem. But it was funny to watch as she walked behind the line of guys leaning over the sideline fence to watch warmups, and one by one they snapped their necks around after she passed as you could see them going, "Whoa, wait--that was Erin Andrews!" It cracked me up.

--That was the fifth Husker game I've seen live, and the fourth that they've lost. Still, as far as the overall experience went, it was more fun than any of the first four. (The one win, Iowa State last year, wasn't too hard to top.) Just think how much more fun it'll be when this team actually starts playing well.

"So what do you think about the whole Brett Favre thing?"

People who have asked me this question in the last two weeks:

--My co-workers
--My ex-co-workers
--My pastor's wife
--My father-in-law
--My uncle-in-law
--My dog-in-law

The last time I was being asked the same question by so many people, I was a senior in high school and was telling everyone that "Wheaton is a Christian liberal arts school in the suburbs of Chicago ... no, it's not affiliated with a specific denomination ... yeah, my dad went there, and I really thought it was the best Christian education I could get."

So, since you're probably asking right now, "So what DO you think about the whole Brett Favre thing," here's my short answer:

Brett Favre needs to find a hobby. Or leave the country. Or, better yet, take up around-the-world hot-air ballooning. There's a hobby that would take him out of the country for a long, long time.

The point is, unretiring was a bad idea. Strike that--unretiring now was a bad idea. Had Favre unretired back this spring when the Packers hadn't planned its entire offseason strategy around someone else, that would've been fine. (Actually, he almost did that, and the Packers told him they'd take him back, but then he re-retired at the last minute.)

But no, he decided to un-retire less than a month before training camp, and he decided to do it in the most drama queeny fashion imaginable. Here's why the Packers aren't taking him back as starter, and I totally understand it.

Basically, the standards for Favre had been in a different universe from the rest of the team, and Favre was asking for more of the same. So the Pack's front office decided whether their ultimate loyalty was to Favre or to the rest of the team. And at some point, Packers fans have to make the same choice. It's easy to pick the face of the franchise for the past 16 years. But it makes a lot more sense to choose the franchise itself.